I have a patient named Cthulhu.
Okay, he isn’t actually named Cthulhu. He actually has a very foreign name which is pronounced as Cthulhu, but which is apparently pretty common among his ethnic group. I won’t say the exact name to protect privacy, but think something like Qutu’ullah and you won’t be far off.
I asked the people I was working with if they saw anything funny about this. None of them did. Apparently Lovecraft isn’t very popular around here.
This freed me to be as silly as I wanted with everything I said around them or wrote in my documentation.
I started simple, like “10:00 - Qutu’ullah lies sleeping, but soon he will awake.”
Then I moved up to things like “Bob in Room 5 saw Qutu’ullah for a few moments this morning. Two hours later, he had to be placed in the padded room for his own protection.”
Finally I got to “I’ll call the new patients to my office first, and then I’ll summon Qutu’ullah and the other old ones.”
I think that getting away with this last one is my proudest achievement as a professional, and I only regret that I will never be able to put it on my resume and have it reach anyone who will appreciate it.
This is the best thing. I don’t care if everyone who follows me already follows Scott and so my reblogging is pointless, this is just so much the best thing that I have abandoned all sense of reason.